I have to use a decoy keyboard to get any work done
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
holy fuck! so how did the penguins taste?????
this is the cutest video in the entire world. this seal is just so afraid for this dumb weird baby she thinks she’s found out in the ocean. have a bird. have another bird. no, see, eat the bird! the bird is food! why won’t this stupid baby eat. open your mouth you idiot baby i will feed you bird if it’s the last thing i do
My parents were all upset and came to talk to me because my cousin posted “something really disturbing” on her Facebook status
And they read it to me and I was like “that’s an Evanescence lyric soooo”
And they are no longer worried.
I turned on the dishwasher and she just sat there and stared at it for 20 minutes
if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules
As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.
You are a mermaid, sir